Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
