He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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