The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
