Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
