A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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