i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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