and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
