I'll bet she douches with gravy.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
