hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
i out mim tonsoeep
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
