why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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