hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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