Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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