Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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