got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
