that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
