SEEEEXXX PLEASE
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
