Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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