I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
