I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
