How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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