Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
