For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
