ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
