when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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