That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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