You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize