it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
