I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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