You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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