she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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