Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I want to be your penis for a week.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I think i got beer on your cat.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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