...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
