susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
