So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
