Moan for me like Helen Keller
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
