on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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