oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
