i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Farmville is her only friend.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
