im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
