god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
