BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
