Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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