just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
