I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
