im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
