I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
