I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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