Betty ford says i'm here all night
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
