After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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