thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
