i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
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