I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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