3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
