I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
