once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
